Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. While most couples know this, it doesn’t make certain topics any easier to discuss. If you feel like money is one of those tricky subjects, you’re not alone. According to Fidelity research, 45 percent of partners report arguing about money at least occasionally, and more than one in four couples cite money as their greatest relationship challenge.
The good news is that communication is like a muscle — the more you train it, the stronger it gets. Here are a few ways to navigate discussions around wealth and your shared priorities with your partner.
Focus on Quality Over Quantity of Discussions
While it’s important to talk candidly about money, it’s possible for the pendulum to swing too far in that direction. Constant, small conversations or fixations about how much money is being spent each day can lead to minor frustrations that may escalate into full-fledged conflict over time.
Instead, adopt a quality-over-quantity approach. By holding fewer but more productive meetings on financial matters, you’ll be able to address the topic thoughtfully rather than reactively, reducing the emotional charge that often accompanies money discussions.
Find Areas of Agreement
You and your partner likely have plenty in common, which is why you wound up together in the first place. Use that to your advantage: Frame conversations about wealth around these important shared priorities, whether it’s retirement goals, a down payment for a home, or funding your children’s education. By focusing on what matters to you as a couple, you can begin setting concrete goals to help you achieve the future you’ve imagined. This shared vision fosters a sense of partnership rather than opposition in financial decisions.
Come to the Conversation Honestly
A productive conversation about finances requires total honesty. According to Fidelity’s research, only 55 percent of couples say theymake decisions about retirement and other investment plans together. That means couples often have blind spots about their shared finances.
A commitment to openness helps you clarify the shared picture and set reasonable goals. But it’s also important to remember that being truly open about your finances comes with responsibility. This shouldn’t be used as an opportunity to delve into the past, which could trigger conflict; rather, frame the conversation around the future. Transparency about debts, spending habits, and financial concerns builds a foundation of trust that strengthens both your relationship and your financial plan.
Organize Structured Conversations
Important financial planning conversations shouldn’t happen casually over dinner. Instead, be intentional. That means scheduling meetings at a dedicated time so you and your partner can come prepared with information, questions, and an understanding of what to expect from the discussion. This structure eliminates the element of surprise and reduces defensiveness, allowing both partners to engage more thoughtfully and constructively.
How an Advisor Can Help
At Legacy Private Wealth Partners, we help couples throughout the financial planning process, providing an honest forum for discussion and serving as a resource for your family. We are committed to providing you with best practices for your daily finances and to crafting a custom financial plan that helps you reach your goals on your timeline.
Money doesn’t have to be a source of conflict. By investing in honest conversation, you’ll get some of the most important returns possible. Money transforms from a source of conflict into a source of happiness, security, and a shared sense of purpose.
